Why Write:Selling Yourself Short
This is something that happens all too often- it’s a bit of a conundrum and kind of funny at the same time. How is it that, in a world where we broadcast boorishly overconfident people who have no idea what they’re doing so often, there is still an epidemic of “I’m bad at ____”. When I ask people if they want to contribute or to put themselves out there I think a lot about all the reasons why they should; the answer, and the one that ends up winning out, is the one negative thought in their minds. For me, it was just a matter of thinking I was bad at something when in reality I wasn’t as bad at it as I thought. I used to play the violin- although I spent far more time playing the world’s smallest violin than my actual instrument- and thought every moment with that thing was torture. In a way, I was concerned for the safety of my community, since I often had the windows open in my room as I would begin to practice, but the decision to quit came along far too late, when I had driven myself into the sand thinking about how horrible I was at the violin. And, I guess, looking back I can say I wasn’t that bad- but maybe that’s just my perfectionist self talking. Although I have no personal regrets actually quitting the violin a few years ago, I can easily think about how fantastic I could have been had I stopped thinking that way.
What’s funny about this shrunken vision we have of ourselves is that we also use it so often as a tool to deflect attention away from who we actually are and what we think of ourselves. You’ll often find that the most ridiculously egotistic people sell themselves so insultingly short in an attempt to make their actual skill levels appear out of nowhere and make you way more impressed with them when they put you in a certain position to do so. Kind of like a staged little play- Act I, where they secretly build their talents and hide them away like secrets for fear of the others catching on; Act II, where they put on the clearly see-through cloak of mystery on themselves by selling themselves short; and Act III, where you’re supposed to look ridiculous while they become the Buddha of humility by proving you, and seemingly themselves, wrong.
The only problem I see with applying this “foolproof” scheme in any situation, while it does work in a number of great social situations, is that sometimes Act III doesn’t actually exist. If you didn’t have a chance to show off in the first place I guess you could say the secret is hidden forever- complete backfiring of your master plan. Pretty soon you actually start to think that you’re as short as you sell yourself, even though you may be eleventy feet tall. Here’s my suggestion; prove yourself wrong when you get the chance- completely worth it and, in some cases, actually a confidence booster in the right way (even for the most self-absorbed). So to all the writers and artists hiding in their caves afraid or too modest to submit, I say unto you in the words of Nike: Just Do It.
